For a long time I was in denial that my husband didn't have a 9-5 job.
It was what I was used to growing up in a blue collar town in rural Rhode Island. Everyone was home safe in their places before it got dark. You always shared the evening meal together and were able to
connect as a family once a day.
Moving to LA has meant having to break the standards that so many Americans, including myself, are used to. For the longest period, dinner time would be aggrivating for me. More so, when we started a family. The baby is hungry, dinner is getting cold and my husband still isn't home yet. Phone calls would ensue which only created more frustration. Families are supposed to eat together! But when my husband is coming home at 7:30pm or doesn't at all because of evening meetings, you can't have the normal life.
This life is not normal!
I finally had to come to my senses and wake up to the fact that
I lead a different kind of life and that means the rules change for me and my family.
Dinner is always made and there will always be enough for all us. But if my husband isn't home by 6:30pm, then the rest of the family is eating. This home still needs to run on some sort of system and organization. It took some getting used and still I sometimes find myself frustrated at my husband. (Even though, I should be frustrated at the industry for having such weird hours! They go in late and leave late.)
My husband and I did decided, however, to make breakfast more special. The morning is less rushed and we make the time more family-centered. It creates a great start to the day and when dinner together might not happen, at least we shared breakfast time. Knowing that my children get to spend time with their father, talk about the days adventures that will happen, and share some laughable moments from the day before means a lot to me. This time is needed for our family and it's about being able to not only make the time but find what fits your lifestyle.
Pancakes, anyone?
Love it, Katie! Hooray for leading a different sort of life. :-)
ReplyDeletelol! this is my life! Made a special breakfast this morning knowing Joel wouldn't make it home before cay goes to bed and wanted us to have some family time. My question is what do you do on the days he leaves before the kids are up and gets home long after they've gone to bed? Sometimes this happens for a week straight and by a week I mean 6-7 days. Gotta love this industry!
ReplyDelete@Anna: I completely understand where you are coming from. In the past, when mornings and evenings are fatherless, I've literaly "x" the following week on the calendar. What ever night/morning he will be home is only for us. We try to make it extra-special family time. We also do phone calls and leave him messages when he's not around. The baby will sometimes carry around a picture of him, sleep with it too!
ReplyDeleteI think too the other important factor, is to remember your own sanity during those times. Because now you're having to fill both shoes, you're being stretched. Come the end of the first/second day, I'm reading to head into survival mode. Do only what is necessary and no more. Remember that your kids want a happy mom and that means having to take care of yourself first!
Hope that answers your question.